“Come, Boy, sit down. Sit down and rest." And the boy did. And the tree was happy.”
To say the last six months were a whirlwind would be an understatement. For those of you who might have any doubts, the learning curve that is being a single working mom is steep. Steep and unstable and full of loose rocks that you can easily lose your footing on. But, you trudge on. Not because you want to really (I would have given, would still give some days, almost anything for time to stop, just so I could catch my breath), but because you have to. Those two little people, so full of life and love and amazement, depend on it. Their world was already turned upside down, doing anything but continuing on continuing on wasn't an option.
But, little by little, I found my footing. One foot in front of the other despite the trepidation, exhaustion, stress and the overwhelming feeling that there was an elephant sitting on my chest. And, little by little, I am beginning to make sense out of my life and finally, at 30, feeling comfortable in my own skin.
The more I reflect back on the past 6 months, the more I am overwhelmed by my “family”. Moving to Amsterdam has been one of the most amazing unforeseen events in my life and the friends and community that have held me up, pushed me that extra step is nothing short of amazing. I don’t know where I would be without them. I can’t imagine, nor do I care to.
I was talking to a friend of mine the other evening. We were in his kitchen cooking dinner and laughing about my stunningly beautiful new apartment and it’s seemingly one flaw: there is no freezer (how do they expect a single mom to binge eat her ice cream?!). “Oh!” I turned to him “didn’t I tell you? One of my colleagues is giving me her freezer to ‘babysit’ until she has more space”. He smiled, “your colleagues have completely furnished your apartment”.
And it’s true. My manager gave me a toddler bed for my youngest, which was miraculously the same model as the oldest, a music colleague gave me a couch and a set of dining room chairs. Then there’s the freezer, all of the man power to help move all of said things, the financial advance, the relocation agent who went out of her way to help me translate the contract and set up my electricity and water, the incoming visitors and friends who have contributed to watching the girls when all other child care options were no longer viable.
Any time that I think of all the love and generosity that went into our home… I don’t have the words. I am touched, blown away, moved… none of it seems to be sufficient to express my overwhelming gratitude and amazement.